Monday, November 1st, 2010, from 8.30am to about 10am, was our first parenting seminar by Kathy Gordon titled "Communicating Peacefully with your Child and Develop your Child's Emotional Intelligence." I have posted her handouts at our school entrance and additional handouts will be available in the Parent Center. (Her parenting seminars outside the school are also posted.)
In addition to coffee and tea provided by our school's cafeteria manager, Robert Hall, I served pumpkin bread and some fruit. Much thanks to Edith for helping with cutting the fruit. Thanks always to our principal, Karen Brown, our Title 1 coordinator, Karen Castro, and our Booster Club for supporting the Parent Center's endeavors. A flyer went home today asking what parents would like to see more of at our Parent Center. Please let us know.
Kathy Gordon is an engaging speaker with a big heart who was able to turn our seminar into an interactive workshop experience. It was radical in that the dominant authoritarian parenting paradigm was challenged and its premises examined before she presented an alternative paradigm of parenting with greater emotional and empathic connection with your child. She discussed the emotion-relevant aspects of our brains and normal emotional brain development and what brain scientists know about stress. I learned that children who are shamed in disciplining recover less easily (as far as brain tissues are concerned) than when physically punished ... not that physical punishment is ever advocated by Kathy. Indeed, she advocated quite the opposite. While many or most of us are parented in an authoritarian parenting style (and sometimes in combination with a permissive parent at the other end of the spectrum on parenting styles), parenting with greater emotional connection helps a child develop emotional intelligence that is the core or prerequisite to learning. We role-played, we discussed concepts and ideas, and we asked questions. Chantel gave us an Oscar-worthy role-playing performance we will never forget and also raised interesting issues about cultural factors. Kathy had us taking turns standing on chairs when playing the parent! Carlos further role-played with Kathy when discussing the regularly occurring challenges of leaving the playground with his daughter. It was challenging work to do in a 90-minute seminar/workshop.
Kathy also brought many books to share and here is a link to many of these books:
http://www.cnvep.org/new/english/readings.html
For those of you who missed the seminar due to short notice for this first event, please come for the next one in a series of continuing parenting seminars by Kathy Gordon. I will calendar the entire series and a flyer will go home in your child's bag. Kathy will soon have her own blogspot and facebook page sand her website is currently under construction. We thank Kathy for her big heart and generosity in sharing her insights with our parents.
I first learned of this parenting paradigm from the non-profit organization in Northern California called Hand-in-Hand Parenting. Here is their most informative website: http://www.handinhandparenting.org/
To view or download articles in this paradigm of parenting both in English and Spanish, please go to this link:
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles
There is a booklet set by the founder, Patty Wipfler, that "warmly and sensibly walks you through the challenges of parenting and explains how children’s emotions work. The booklets cover the tools and opportunities for each of us to do the best possible job of raising children. How Children's Emotions Work, Special Time, Playlistening, Crying, Tantrums and Indignation, Healing Children's Fears, and Reaching For Your Angry Child."
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/store
Sign up for their newsletter and check their archived newsletters here:
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/parent-support/newsletter
Or follow their blog with excellent and instructive stories of what parenting with emotional connection is all about in action and practice: http://superprotectivefactor.wordpress.com/
Our local equivalent training organization is the Center for Nonviolent Education and Parenting at Echo Park, where Kathy was trained. She informs us that there are parenting classes in Spanish and in English on a sliding scale and not one is ever turned away. There is also an archive of their newsletters.
http://www.cnvep.org/new/english/whoweare.html
http://www.cnvep.org/new/english/parenting.html
http://www.cnvep.org/new/english/news-archive.html
From another website, here is a ongoing series of free Tuesdays tele-seminars that you can sign for or hear recordings later and there is also a free parenting video using the same parenting paradigm.
http://peaceofmindparenting.com/teleseminar/
Happy parenting with fun strategies and greater emotional connection,
KF
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